BELIEFS ABOUT PEOPLE
THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY
- What you believe about the world is not the world around you.
- You’re not actually responding to the world when you’re responding. You’re responding to what’s going on in your head, which is a representation of the world.
- Our thoughts create the reality in which we live in. However, our thoughts are not reality.
- We don’t respond to reality. We respond to our internalized map of reality. How we represent things are out of our interpretations. Interpretations may or may not be accurate.
PEOPLE WORK PERFECTLY
- No one is broken.
- People function perfectly even if what they’re doing ir ruining their life.
- All behavior has a structure. When you understand the structure, you can change the outcome or behavior into something more desirable.
- If someone is not doing what they want to do in life, it’s because they haven’t been taught the right things.
- Or maybe the only problema is they’ve never had anyone say, “I believe you.”
PEOPLE MAKE THE BEST CHOICE AVAILABLE AT ANY GIVEN TIME, WITH THE RESOURCES THEY HAVE AVAILABLE
- You have all the resources you need inside to achieve anything that you want to achieve, and so do the people around you.
- The idea is to add choices and resources. When you take away choices, other compensating behaviors can occur.
- When someone doesn’t have the right resources, they don’t make the right choices. They do, however, do their best.
- This assumption implies forgiveness at all times
PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE RESOURCES THEY NEED
- This assumption opens up possibilities.
- Resources mean the internal responses and external behaviors needed to get a desired response. Often people have resources that they haven’t considered or are available in other contexts.
- Consider the person you know who shows good leadership skills at work but can’t manage his or her children. They’re utilizing resources in one context, but not another.
- Sometimes you just need to give them different resources or teach them something new.
THE MEANING OF COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE THAT YOU GET
- This is one of the most important beliefs for creating influence.
- Most people asume the communication they construct is the meaning implied with their words. It’s not. It’s what those words, and what that communication creates inside the mind of the person receiving the communication.
- The meaning of what you’re communicating is not the words you say, it’s the result it produces, which is almost always different.
- The aim is to create communication that creates the response that you want. The response is the aim – not the words or what you actually say.
YOU CANNOT NOT COMMUNICATE
- You are always communicating, and your communication is always either creating the response that you want, or not.
- Knowing that, you may as well learn to create the response that you want. Even the absense of response is communication – for example, becoming silent when you get angry.
EVERY BEHAVIOR HAS A POSITIVE INTENT IN SOME CONTEXT
- You can change almost any behavior by finding that positive intention and then reframing the actions that you’re creating from it.
- All behavior can be used in a context that is positive. Also, all behavior that is used in a context that is not positive has an underlying positive unconscious intention.
- An example would be fear – fear of public speaking is not useful. However, fear of an uncaged bear will create adrenaline that propels your body with the energy it needs to survive. Therefore there is nothing wrong with fear. The problema is the context.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE, ONLY FEEDBACK
- If you stop saying “I failed” and instead look at every outcome as information to help you get the result that you want, it changes the meaning of your experience, and all experience becomes useful towards reaching the aim of your consciousness.
- There’s a big difference between saying, “I’m not rich” “I’m not rich YET.” “Yet” presupposes that you will be rich at one time in the future. Don’t look at anything that you do as negative or failing. Just look at it as feedback.
- A lot of times, we just need to relax and realice that these things are just part of our experience. It’s just ways of learning. There are no failures. There is only feedback.
MIND AND BODY ARE CONNECTED
- Each affects the other. Your eye patterns reveal your internal sensory processing.
- Other behavioral cues are speech, tempo, and breathing rate.
- The body cannot NOT influence the mind. The mind cannot NOT influence the body. If you’re tired, you might slump in your chair. Simultaneously, slumping in your chair will make you tired.
POSSIBLE IN THE WORLD, POSSIBLE FOR ME
- Individual skills are a function of the development and sequencing of representational systems.
- Any skill, talent, or ability that an individual has can be broken down into its components and taught to anyone that does not have physiological or neurological limitations preventing it.
- Favorite quote from Jesus is, “Greater things than this shall ye do if you believe in me.”
THE PERSON OR ELEMENT WITH THE MOST FLEXIBILITY IN A SYSTEM WILL HAVE THE MOST INFLUENCE
- This means that the person with the most options and behavioral choices will control the system and the outcome ot the communication.
- In any field, the top people in that field are those who have the most variety in their behavior. They have choices of behavior that their colleagues don’t.
Any time you limit your behavior in any way it limits your competitive edge. The nature of evolution is survival of those that compete and win.